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From Andre Fischer <awf....@gmail.com>
Subject Re: Blog about sidebar
Date Mon, 03 Jun 2013 07:21:06 GMT
On 31.05.2013 19:32, Donald Whytock wrote:
> On Fri, May 31, 2013 at 11:00 AM, Rory O'Farrell <ofarrwrk@iol.ie> wrote:
>
>> On Fri, 31 May 2013 16:52:33 +0200
>> Andre Fischer <awf.aoo@gmail.com> wrote:
>> <snip>
>>> I applied the rest of the changes (some of my errors are so
>>> embarrassing).  Thank you very much.
>>>
>>> -Andre
>> If I could write any other language than my own as well as you do, I'd be
>> very proud!
>>
>>
> "something is either new" -> "something either is new"
>
> "both in Apache OpenOffice (and OpenOffice.org before that) as well as in
> Symphony." -> "both in Apache OpenOffice (and OpenOffice.org before that)
> and in Symphony."
> or
> "in Apache OpenOffice (and OpenOffice.org before that) as well as in
> Symphony."
>
> Paragraph starting with "The property panels that let you for example":
> there's a mix of tone here, with the use of "could".  Is it about things
> that were done, or things that have yet to be done?  The overall tone of
> the section suggests it's about things that were done, so "could" items
> don't really fit.
>
> "The third group are non-modal dialogs" -> (recommending, to get around
> is/are) "The third group consists of non-modal dialogs"
>
> "extensions can add new decks" -> (suggesting) "extensions can now add new
> decks"
>
> " there may no yet be a panel" -> " there may not yet be a panel"
>
> Seconding Rory on the "what the user, you, is currently doing".  Much of
> the rest of the article talks in terms of "you", and "you" so close to "is"
> looks a bit awkward.  I'd go with "what you are currently doing".

OK.  I changed that.

>
> "where busy getting the project going" -> "were busy getting the project
> going"
>
> "Even downstream has started" -- Is "downstream" in this sense as a noun
> common usage in the AOO user community?  It may need expansion, such as
> "adaptations", "derivative works", etc.

I would like to keep this sentence in but at the same time don't want to 
stress the point by explaining what "downstream" is.  I hope that a 
reader who does not understand the term just ignores the sentence.

>
> "how anyoing" -> "how annoying"
>
> "panels for the sidebar.  The old sidebar." -- Since it wasn't called the
> "sidebar" before, this might distract the reader with the question, "WHAT
> old sidebar?"  How about "panels for the task pane (the "old sidebar")."

Changed that to

     A little known feature of OpenOffice is that extensions can provide 
panels for the task panel (now called sidebar).

I am not sure if parenthesis and dot/period should be interchanged but 
".)" just looks too wrong for me.  Shall I change it?

>
> One last thing...Did you mean for the headers to all be the same size?

Most should.  Only the first two
     So, what did you improve?
and
     And what is new?
are one level below the others.
But all look much larger than the title. Have to check this.


>
> Don
>

Thank you very much for your corrections and comments.

-Andre


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