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From rdon...@apache.org
Subject svn commit: r437400 - in /incubator/public/trunk: site-author/guides/proposal.xml site-publish/guides/proposal.html
Date Sun, 27 Aug 2006 16:41:06 GMT
Author: rdonkin
Date: Sun Aug 27 09:41:05 2006
New Revision: 437400

URL: http://svn.apache.org/viewvc?rev=437400&view=rev
Log:
Editing. Tightened prose. Ensured examples follow same format. Should really edit stylesheets but that's better done when then content is closer.

Modified:
    incubator/public/trunk/site-author/guides/proposal.xml
    incubator/public/trunk/site-publish/guides/proposal.html

Modified: incubator/public/trunk/site-author/guides/proposal.xml
URL: http://svn.apache.org/viewvc/incubator/public/trunk/site-author/guides/proposal.xml?rev=437400&r1=437399&r2=437400&view=diff
==============================================================================
--- incubator/public/trunk/site-author/guides/proposal.xml (original)
+++ incubator/public/trunk/site-author/guides/proposal.xml Sun Aug 27 09:41:05 2006
@@ -149,13 +149,12 @@
       <title>Proposal Template</title>
       <p>
 The aim of presenting a template with examples and comments is educational.
-Proposals are not required to adopt this format. If you can see a better
-way: great - try it. 
+Proposals are not required to adopt this format. Best practice evolves.
       </p>
       <p>
 Every proposal is different. There may be sections which don't seem to be
 useful. It's fine to miss them out and to add new ones that the proposal seems
-to need.
+to need. Innovation is acceptable.
       </p>
       <p>
 The format is less important than the content. 
@@ -176,25 +175,23 @@
        <section id='template-abstract'><title>Abstract</title>
        <blockquote>
 <p>
-What is the proposed project? 
-</p><p>
 A short descriptive summary of the
-project. Ideally one sentence in length.
+project. A short paragraph, ideally one sentence in length.
 </p><p>
-The technical vision for an open source project should be communicatable 
-in a short paragraph. This paragraph will most like be used for
+The abstract should be suitable for reuse in
 the board resolution used to create the official project upon graduation,
-may be used as the first paragraph on the web site and as the DOAP
+as the first paragraph on the project web site and as the DOAP
 description.
 </p>
 <pre>
-Examples
-       Geronimo will be a J2EE compliant container.
+Examples:
+
+  Geronimo will be a J2EE compliant container.
        
-       Heraldry will develop technologies around the emerging  
-           user-centric identity space.
+  Heraldry will develop technologies around the emerging  
+    user-centric identity space.
            
-       Yoko will be a CORBA server.
+  Yoko will be a CORBA server.
 </pre>
        </blockquote>
         </section>
@@ -202,57 +199,53 @@
         <blockquote>
 <p>
 A lengthier description of the proposal. Should be reasonably declarative.
-More discursive material can be included in later sections.
+More discursive material should be included in the <a href='#template-rationale'>rationale</a>
+(or other later sections).
 </p>
 <pre>
 Example (XAP):
-        XAP is to provide an XML-based declarative framework 
-        for building, deploying and maintaining rich, interactive, 
-        Ajax-powered web applications. A basic principal of XAP 
-        is to leverage existing Ajax 
-        ...
+
+  XAP is to provide an XML-based declarative framework 
+  for building, deploying and maintaining rich, interactive, 
+  Ajax-powered web applications. A basic principal of XAP 
+  is to leverage existing Ajax 
+  ...
 </pre>
         </blockquote>
         </section>
         <section id='template-background'><title>Background</title>
         <blockquote>
 <p>
-For some projects, it may be useful to provide context for those unfamiliar
-with the project space and history.
+The contents of this section provide context for those unfamiliar
+with the project space and history. 
 </p><p>
 If there any likelihood of confusion over the meaning of some terms (for example, 
 if there is not a single widely adopted definition), explain what is meant by them.
-if the problem domain is likely to be unfamiliar to many then please give an outline.
+If the problem domain is likely to be unfamiliar to many then please give an outline.
 <p>
 </p>
-This content should be capable of being safely ignored by any domain
-experts.
+This content should be capable of being safely ignored by domain experts.
 <p>
 </p>
 This material should probably find an eventual home on the project website.
 </p>
 <pre>
 Example (Heraldry):
-   To provide some background, the Higgins Project is being actively
-   developed within Eclipse and is a framework that will enable users
-   and enterprises to integrate identity, profile, and relationship 
-   information across multiple systems. Using context providers, 
-   existing and new systems such as directories, collaboration spaces, 
-   ...
+  To provide some background, the Higgins Project is being actively
+  developed within Eclipse and is a framework that will enable users
+  and enterprises to integrate identity, profile, and relationship 
+  information across multiple systems. Using context providers, 
+  existing and new systems such as directories, collaboration spaces, 
+  ...
 </pre>
         </blockquote>
         </section>
         <section id='template-rationale'><title>Rationale</title>
         <blockquote>
 <p>
-Why does this project need to exist and why should it be adopted by Apache?
-<p>
-</p>
-More discursive material is probably better in this section rather than in
-the proposal.
-<p>
-</p>
-This content should be ignorable for those for whom the need is obvious.
+Explains why this project needs to exist and why should it be adopted by Apache.
+More discursive material is should be included in this section rather than in
+the <a href='#template-proposal'>proposal</a>.
 </p>
 <pre>
 Example (Beehive):
@@ -267,139 +260,145 @@
         </blockquote>
         </section>
         <section id='template-initial-goals'><title>Initial Goals</title>
-        <blockquote>
-<p>
-Only include this section if it is not obvious. If the proposal is complex
-(probably involving multiple code bases) then people may worry about it's
-practicality and whether it may drag in too much Apache energy. 
+        	<blockquote>
 <p>
+A complex proposal (involving multiple existing code bases, for example)
+may cause concerns that the proposal may not be practical. A good way
+to address these concerns is to create a plan that demonstrates the proposal
+is feasible and has been carefully thought through.
 </p>
-This is a good place to explain the plan and demonstrate that the proposal
-is feasible and has been thought through.
+<p>
+Many projects will not need this section.
 </p>
 <pre>
 Example (Heraldry):
-    * Expansion of Yadis and OpenID libraries into additional
-       languages beyond the existing Python, Ruby, Perl, and 
-       PHP libraries
-    * OpenID authentication specification revision to fix known
-       security considerations, investigate compatibility with 
-       the DIX IETF proposal, describe Yadis integration, and 
-       allow either an URL or XRI be used as the End User's 
-       Identifier
-     ...
+  * Expansion of Yadis and OpenID libraries into additional
+     languages beyond the existing Python, Ruby, Perl, and 
+     PHP libraries
+  * OpenID authentication specification revision to fix known
+     security considerations, investigate compatibility with 
+     the DIX IETF proposal, describe Yadis integration, and 
+     allow either an URL or XRI be used as the End User's 
+     Identifier
+   ...
 </pre>
-        </blockquote>
+        	</blockquote>
         </section>
         <section id='template-current-status'><title>Current Status</title>
-        <blockquote>
+        	<blockquote>
 <p>
-Questions are often asked about the current status of the constituent codebases
-and current development practices.
-It is sometimes useful to preempt these questions by stating honestly
-where how these balance up against principles and ideals. 
+This section (and the contained topics) addresses
+the current status and current development practices of any constituent codebases.
+This should be an honest accessment balancing these against Apache's 
+<a href='http://www.apache.org/foundation/'>principles</a> and 
+<a href='http://www.apache.org/foundation/how-it-works.html#management'>development ideals</a>. 
 </p><p>
 For some proposals, this is a chance to demonstrate understanding 
-of the issues they'll need to address before graduation, 
-for other this is a chance to highlight that they are similar.
-Some proposals describe this section as criteria.
+of the issues they'll need to address before graduation.
+For others, this is a chance to highlight that they are similar.
+Proposals without an inital codebase should just simply state that.
+</p><p>
+Some proposals name this section <em>criteria</em> though the term is a little misleading.
 </p><p>
 A few possible topics:
 </p>
-        </blockquote>
+        	</blockquote>
         <section id='template-meritocracy'><title>Meritocracy</title>
-        <p>
+        	<blockquote>
+	     <p>
 Apache is a 
 <a href='http://www.apache.org/foundation/how-it-works.html#meritocracy'>meritocracy</a>. 
 Once a developer has submitted enough good patches then it should be 
-natural that they are elected to committer.
-Once they have actively contributed as a committer for a while, it should
-be natural that they are elected to the PMC. 
+natural that they are elected to committer. It should be natural that active committers are elected 
+to the project management committee (PMC). 
 		</p>
 		<p>
 This process of renewing and sharing of responsibility is vital to the long term
-health of our projects and it's important that the Incubator PMC is convinced
-that these lessons are well understood.
+health of Apache projects and it's important that the Incubator PMC is convinced
+that these lessons are well understood by the proposers.
         </p>
         <pre>
 Example (OFBiz):
-OFBiz was originally created by David E. Jones and Andy Zeneski in 
-May 2001. The project now has committers and users from around the world. 
-The newer committers of the project joined in subsequent years by initially
-submitting patches, then having commit privileges for some of the applications, 
-and then privileges over a larger range of applications
-... 
+  OFBiz was originally created by David E. Jones and Andy Zeneski in 
+  May 2001. The project now has committers and users from around the world. 
+  The newer committers of the project joined in subsequent years by initially
+  submitting patches, then having commit privileges for some of the applications, 
+  and then privileges over a larger range of applications
+  ... 
 
 Example (Beehive):
-We plan to do everything possible to encourage an environment that
-supports a meritocracy. One of the lessons that the XMLBeans committers 
-have learned is that meritocracies don't just evolve from good intentions; 
-they require actively asking the community for help, listing/specifying the 
-work that needs to be done, and keeping track of and encouraging 
-members of the community who make any contributions
-...
+  We plan to do everything possible to encourage an environment that
+  supports a meritocracy. One of the lessons that the XMLBeans committers 
+  have learned is that meritocracies don't just evolve from good intentions; 
+  they require actively asking the community for help, listing/specifying the 
+  work that needs to be done, and keeping track of and encouraging 
+  members of the community who make any contributions
+  ...
        </pre>
+    		</blockquote>
         </section>
         <section id='template-community'><title>Community</title>
+	        <blockquote>
         <p>
 Apache is interested only in communities. Projects should start with a 
-community and have the potential to attract new developers 
-and a community of users. Explain how the proposal fits this vision.
+community and have the potential renew and grow this community by
+attracting new users and developers. Explain how the proposal fits this vision.
         </p>
 <pre>
 Example (Beehive):
-BEA has been building a community around predecessors to this 
-framework for the last two years. There is currently an active  
-newsgroup that should help us build a new community at Apache
-...
+  BEA has been building a community around predecessors to this 
+  framework for the last two years. There is currently an active  
+  newsgroup that should help us build a new community at Apache
+  ...
 
 Example (WebWork2):
-The WebWork 2 community has a strong following with active 
-mailing lists and forums
-...
+  The WebWork 2 community has a strong following with active 
+  mailing lists and forums
+  ...
 
 Example (WADI):
-The need for a full service clustering and caching component in the 
-open source is tremendous as its use can be applied in many areas, 
-thus providing the potential for an incredibly large community. 
-...
+  The need for a full service clustering and caching component in the 
+  open source is tremendous as its use can be applied in many areas, 
+  thus providing the potential for an incredibly large community. 
+  ...
 </pre>
+			</blockquote>
         </section>
         <section id='template-core-developers'><title>Core Developers</title>
+    	    <blockquote>
         <p>
 Apache is composed of <a href='http://www.apache.org/foundation/how-it-works.html#hats'>individuals</a>. 
 		</p>
 		<p>
 It is often useful to provide some kind of introduction to the developers on the 
 <a href='#template-initial-committers'>initial committers</a> list.
-This is best done here and not in that section. This is also sometimes used to discuss 
+This is best done here (and not in that section). This may be used to discuss 
 the diversity of the core development team.
         </p>
  <pre>
- Example (ServiceMix)
- 
- The core developers are a diverse group of developers many of which are 
- already very experienced open source developers. There is at least one 
- Apache Member together with a number of other existing Apache Committers 
- along with folks from various companies. http://servicemix.org/Team
+Example (ServiceMix)
+  The core developers are a diverse group of developers many of which are 
+  already very experienced open source developers. There is at least one 
+  Apache Member together with a number of other existing Apache Committers 
+  along with folks from various companies. http://servicemix.org/Team
  
- Example (WADI)
- 
- WADI was founded by Jules Gosnell in 2004, it now has a strong base of 
- developers from Geronimo, Castor, OpenEJB, Mojo, Jetty, ActiveCluster, 
- ActiveMQ, and ServiceMix.
- </pre>
+Example (WADI) 
+  WADI was founded by Jules Gosnell in 2004, it now has a strong base of 
+  developers from Geronimo, Castor, OpenEJB, Mojo, Jetty, ActiveCluster, 
+  ActiveMQ, and ServiceMix.
+</pre>
+			</blockquote>
         </section>
         <section id='template-alignment'><title>Alignment</title>
+        	<blockquote>
         <p>
-An opertunity to highlight links either with Apache 
+Describe why Apache is a good match for the proposal.
+An opertunity to highlight links with Apache 
 <a href='http://projects.apache.org'>projects</a>
-or <a href='http://www.apache.org/foundation/how-it-works.html'>philosophy</a>.
-Or otherwise talk about why Apache is a good match for the proposal.
+and <a href='http://www.apache.org/foundation/how-it-works.html'>development philosophy</a>.
         </p>
 <pre>
 Example (Beehive):
-
   The initial code base is targeted to run within Tomcat, 
   but the goal is to allow the framework to run on any 
   compliant Servlet or J2EE container. The Web services 
@@ -409,15 +408,15 @@
   There are other projects that we will need to work with, 
   such as the Portals and Maven projects.
 </pre>
+			</blockquote>
         </section>
-
         </section>
         <section id='template-known-risks'><title>Known Risks</title>
         <blockquote>
 <p>
 An exercise in self-knowledge.
-Risks don't mean that a project is unacceptable.
-It is useful to collect together material preempting questions about possible risks.
+Risks don't mean that a project is unacceptable. If they are recognized and noted 
+then they can usuallly be addressed during incubation. 
 </p>
         </blockquote>
         <section id='template-orphaned-products'><title>Orphaned products</title>
@@ -430,40 +429,38 @@
             </p>
 <pre>
 Example (Yoko):
-    The contributors are leading vendors in this space.
-    There is no risk of any of the usual warning signs of orphaned 
-    or abandoned code.
+  The contributors are leading vendors in this space.
+  There is no risk of any of the usual warning signs of orphaned 
+  or abandoned code.
 </pre>
         </blockquote>
         </section>
         <section id='template-inexperience-with-open-source'><title>Inexperience with Open Source</title>
         <blockquote>
         <p>
-If the project is also open source with a strong history of open development, then highlight this here.
+If the proposal is is based on an existing open source project with a history of open development, then highlight this here.
         </p>
         <p>
-Inexperience with open source is one reason why close projects choose to apply for incubation.
+Inexperience with open source is one reason why closed projects choose to apply for incubation.
 Apache has developed over the years a store of experience in this area.
 Successfully opening up a closed project means an investment of energy by Apache. 
-It also requires a willingness to learn and to give back to the community from the
+Success requires a willingness to learn and to give back to the community from the
 originators of the codebase.
 		</p>
         <p>
-If the project contains people with a strong open source background 
-then this is the place to highlight this. At the least, it should demonstrate that the proposers
+If the list of initial committers contains people with a strong open source background 
+then highlight this here. At the least, it should demonstrate that the proposers
 have done the research required to understand the open source space.
         </p>
  <pre>
 Example (Cayenne):
- 
-    Cayenne was started as an open source project in 2001 and has 
-    remained so for 5 years.
+  Cayenne was started as an open source project in 2001 and has 
+  remained so for 5 years.
 	 
 Example (Beehive):
-
-    Many of the committers have experience working on open source 
-    projects. Five of them have experience as committers on other 
-    Apache projects.
+  Many of the committers have experience working on open source 
+  projects. Five of them have experience as committers on other 
+  Apache projects.
  </pre>
         </blockquote>
         </section>
@@ -481,32 +478,30 @@
                 </p>
 <pre>
 Example (Beehive):
-
-    The current list of committers includes developers from several different 
-    companies plus many independent volunteers. The committers are geographically 
-    distributed across the U.S., Europe, and Asia. They are experienced with working
-    in a distributed environment.
+  The current list of committers includes developers from several different 
+  companies plus many independent volunteers. The committers are geographically 
+  distributed across the U.S., Europe, and Asia. They are experienced with working
+  in a distributed environment.
 </pre>
             </blockquote>
         </section>
         <section id='template-reliance-on-salaried-developers'><title>Reliance on Salaried Developers</title>            
             <blockquote>
                 <p> 
-Some worry about the long term health of projects dominated by salaried developers
-who are interested in working on the code only whilst they are employed
-to do so. Apache is 
-<a href='http://www.apache.org/foundation/how-it-works.html#hats'>about</a> people, not corporations. 
+There are concerns about the long term health of projects dominated by salaried developers
+who are interested in working on the code only whilst they are employed to do so. 
+				</p><p>
+Apache is <a href='http://www.apache.org/foundation/how-it-works.html#hats'>about</a> people, not corporations. 
 We hope that developers continue to be involved with Apache no matter who their current employer
 happens to be. A healthy Apache project should be able to continue in the case of salaried 
 developers being withdrawn.
                 </p>
                 <p>
-This is a right place to indicate the balance between salaried developers 
+This is a right place to indicate the initial balance between salaried developers 
 and volunteers. It's also good to talk about the level of commitment of the developers.
                 </p>
 <pre>
 Example (OpenJPA):
-
   Most of the developers are paid by their employer to contribute 
   to this project, but given the anticipation from the Java community 
   for the a JPA implementation and the committers' sense of ownership 
@@ -518,58 +513,59 @@
         <section id='template-other-producrs'><title>Relationships with Other Apache Products</title>  
             <blockquote>
                 <p>
-There are concerns about that a candidate may work just inside
-their own little bubble. Apache encourages projects to be open to collaboration
-with other open source projects both within Apache and without. 
+Apache encourages projects to be open to collaboration with other open source projects both 
+within Apache and without. Candidates should be willing to reach outside their own little bubbles.
 				</p><p>
 This is a an opertunity to talk about existing links. It is also the right place to 
 talk about potential future links and plans.
                 </p><p>
-               Apache allows different projects to have competing or
-overlapping goals. However, this should mean friendly competition with
-coorporation whenever this makes sense. Competition between code
+Apache allows different projects to have competing or overlapping goals. However, this should 
+mean friendly competition with coorporation whenever this makes sense. Competition between code
 but cordial coorporation between communities.
                 </p><p>
-It is not always obvious to all
-whether the proposers see themselves as direct competitors with an existing
-project, indirect competitors (same problem space, different ecological
-niche) or just peers with some overlap. So, it's best to note this. 
-It is polite to inform the the projects.
-In the case of indirect competition, it may be important that the abstract 
-describe accurately the niche.
-                </p>
+It is not always obvious (to all) whether a candidate is a direct competitor with an existing
+project, an indirect competitor (same problem space, different ecological niche) or just 
+peers with some overlap. So, it's best to note this. In the case of indirect competition, it is 
+important that the abstract describes accurately the niche.
+				</p>
 <pre>
 Example (OpenJPA):
-
   Open JPA will likely be used by Geronimo, requires some Apache 
   products (regexp, commons collections, commons lang, commons pool), 
   and supports Apache commons logging.
 </pre>
             </blockquote>
         </section>
-        <section id='template-brand-fascination'><title>A Fascination with the Apache Brand</title>  
+        <section id='template-brand-fascination'><title>A Excessive Fascination with the Apache Brand</title>  
             <blockquote>
                 <p>
 Concerns have been raised in the past that some projects appear to have been proposed 
-just to generate positive publicity for the proposers. A candidate with a closed
-source background should definitely say given some sort of public statement in 
-proposal to convince any possible doubters that this is not the case.
+just to generate positive publicity for the proposers. This is the right place
+to convince everyone that is not the case.
 				</p><p>
-This is also the right place to chance to build bridges with the 
+This is also the right place to build bridges with the 
 community after past misdemeanors (for example, if any of those associated 
 with the proposal have - in the past - sort to associate themselves with the Apache brand in
 factually incorrect ways) and promise good conduct for the future.
-[is this right? why do we have this section?]
                 </p>
 <pre>
 Example (CeltiXfire):
-
   While we expect the Apache brand may help attract more 
   contributors, our interests in starting this project is based 
   on the factors mentioned in the Rationale section. However, 
   we will be sensitive to inadvertent abuse of the Apache brand 
   and will work with the Incubator PMC and the PRC to ensure 
   the brand policies are respected.
+  
+Example (Wicket):
+  The ASF has a strong brand, and that brand is in itself attractive. 
+  However, the developers of Wicket have been quite successful
+  on their own and could continue on that path with no problems
+  at all. We are interested in joining the ASF in order to increase 
+  our contacts and visibility in the open source world. Furthermore, 
+  we have been enthusiastic users of Apache from the earliest hour
+  (remember JServ anyone?), and feel honored at getting the 
+  opportunity to join the club.
 </pre>
             </blockquote>
         </section>
@@ -577,12 +573,10 @@
         <section id='template-documentation'><title>Documentation</title>
             <blockquote>
                 <p>
-References to any further reading material which may be appropriate.
+References to further reading material.
                 </p>
-            </blockquote>
 <pre>
 Examples (Heraldry):
-
   [1] Information on Yadis can be found at:
     http://yadis.org 
     http://www.openidenabled.com
@@ -594,8 +588,8 @@
   The mailing list for both OpenID and Yadis is located at:
     http://lists.danga.com/mailman/listinfo/yadis
   ...
-
 </pre>
+            </blockquote>
         </section>
         <section id='template-initial-source'><title>Initial Source</title>
             <blockquote>
@@ -604,45 +598,45 @@
 from more than one source, this is the right place to outline the different
 histories.
 </p><p>
-If there is no initial source, note that here as well. 
+If there is no initial source, note that here. 
 </p>
-            </blockquote>
 <pre>
 Example (Heraldry):
-    OpenID has been in development since the summer of 2005. 
-    It currently has an active community (over 15 million enabled
-    accounts) and libraries in a variety of languages. Additionally
-    it is supported by LiveJournal.com and is continuing to gain 
-    traction in the Open Source Community.
-
-    Yadis has been in development since late 2005 and the 
-    specification has not changed since early 2006. Like OpenID, 
-    it has libraries in various languages and there is a large 
-    overlap between the two communities. The specification is
-    ... 
+  OpenID has been in development since the summer of 2005. 
+  It currently has an active community (over 15 million enabled
+  accounts) and libraries in a variety of languages. Additionally
+  it is supported by LiveJournal.com and is continuing to gain 
+  traction in the Open Source Community.
+
+  Yadis has been in development since late 2005 and the 
+  specification has not changed since early 2006. Like OpenID, 
+  it has libraries in various languages and there is a large 
+  overlap between the two communities. The specification is
+  ... 
  </pre>
+             </blockquote>
         </section>
         <section id='template-ip'><title>Source and Intellectual Property Submission Plan</title>
             <blockquote>
 <p>
 More complex proposals (typically involving multiple code bases) may find it useful
-to draw up an initial plan for the submission of the code here in a separate
-section. Demonstrates that the proposal is practical.
+to draw up an initial plan for the submission of the code here. 
+Demonstrates that the proposal is practical.
 </p>
 <pre>
 Example (Heraldry):
-    * The OpenID specification and content on openid.net from 
-       Brad Fitzpatrick of Six Apart, Ltd. and David Recordon of 
-       VeriSign, Inc.
-    * The domains openid.net and yadis.org from Brad Fitzpatrick 
-       of Six Apart, Ltd. and Johannes Ernst of NetMesh, Inc.
-    * OpenID libraries in Python, Ruby, Perl, PHP, and C# from 
-       JanRain, Inc.
-    ...
-    * Yadis conformance test suite from NetMesh and VeriSign, Inc.
+  * The OpenID specification and content on openid.net from 
+    Brad Fitzpatrick of Six Apart, Ltd. and David Recordon of 
+    VeriSign, Inc.
+  * The domains openid.net and yadis.org from Brad Fitzpatrick 
+     of Six Apart, Ltd. and Johannes Ernst of NetMesh, Inc.
+  * OpenID libraries in Python, Ruby, Perl, PHP, and C# from 
+     JanRain, Inc.
+  ...
+  * Yadis conformance test suite from NetMesh and VeriSign, Inc.
    
-   We will also be soliciting contributions of further plugins and 
-   patches to various pieces of Open Source software.
+  We will also be soliciting contributions of further plugins and 
+  patches to various pieces of Open Source software.
 </pre>
             </blockquote>
         </section>
@@ -651,13 +645,12 @@
 <p>
 External dependencies for the initial source is important. Apache has 
 <a href='http://www.apache.org/legal/3party.html'>policy</a>
-about dependencies allowed for projects. These are (to some extent) relaxed
+about which dependencies allowed. These are (to some extent) initially relaxed
 for projects under incubation. Listing dependencies and licenses allows any
 possible problems to be highlighted and the appropriate actions planned.
 </p>
 <pre>
 Example (CeltiXfire):
-
   The dependencies all have Apache compatible licenses. These include BSD, 
   CDDL, CPL, MPL and MIT licensed dependencies.
 </pre>
@@ -675,8 +668,8 @@
         <section id='template-required-resources'><title>Required Resources</title>
             <blockquote>
 <p>
-       Create a list of resources that the Apache infrastructure will be asked
-supply for this project. Note that the contents of this list may need to be developed.
+Resources that the Apache infrastructure will be asked
+to supply for this project.
 </p>
             </blockquote>
         <section id='template-mailing-lists'><title>Mailing lists</title>
@@ -688,14 +681,14 @@
                 </p><p>
 If this project is new to open source, it is often best to start with 
 these minimum lists. The initial focus needs to be on recruiting new developers. 
-Developers need to get into the habit of reading and checking commit messages.  
-As momentum is gained, the community may decide that to create commit 
-and user lists in the usual way.
+Early adopters are potential developers.
+As momentum is gained, the community may decide to create commit 
+and user lists.
                 </p><p>
 Existing open source projects moving to Apache will probably want to adopt the
 same mailing list set up here as they have already. However, the transition for users may
-prove more smooth if only the development lists are bootstrapped initially. The user
-lists can then be migrated by a simple podling vote once the Apache infrastructure 
+prove more smooth if only the development lists are bootstrapped. The user
+lists can then be migrated (by a simple podling vote) once the Apache infrastructure 
 is ready and fully prepared.
                 </p>
                 <p>
@@ -703,12 +696,11 @@
 based on the project name. 
                 </p>
 <pre>
-  Example:
-  
-    * beehive-ppmc (with moderated subscriptions)
-    * beehive-dev
-    * beehive-commits
-    * beehive-user
+Example (Beehive):  
+  * beehive-ppmc (with moderated subscriptions)
+  * beehive-dev
+  * beehive-commits
+  * beehive-user
 </pre>
             </blockquote>
         </section>
@@ -720,9 +712,8 @@
 (<a href="http://svn.apache.org/repos/asf/incubator">http://svn.apache.org/repos/asf/incubator</a>).
         	</p>
 <pre>
-Example:
-
-   https://svn.apache.org/repos/asf/incubator/openjpa
+Example (OpenJPA):
+  https://svn.apache.org/repos/asf/incubator/openjpa
 </pre>
 			</blockquote>
         </section>
@@ -730,13 +721,12 @@
             <blockquote>
                 <p>
 Apache runs <a href='https://issues.apache.org/jira/secure/Dashboard.jspa'>JIRA</a>
-and <a href='http://issues.apache.org/bugzilla/'>Bugzilla</a>. Choose one. Include the
-name by which project will be known in the issue tracking system.
+and <a href='http://issues.apache.org/bugzilla/'>Bugzilla</a>. Choose one. Indicate the
+name by which project should be known in the issue tracking system.
                 </p>
 <pre>
-Example:
-    
-    JIRA Open-JPA (OPEN-JPA)
+Example (OpenJPA):
+  JIRA Open-JPA (OPEN-JPA)
 </pre>
             </blockquote>
         </section>
@@ -744,12 +734,12 @@
             <blockquote>
                 <p>
         Other resources such as continuous integration and so on should be
-added by the Podling later in the usual way (votes on list) as momentum is gained. 
-The infrastructure documentation should explain the process.
+added by the Podling later in the usual way (by vote on list) as momentum is gained. 
+The <a href='http://www.apache.org/dev'>infrastructure documentation</a> should explain the process.
                 </p><p>
-        If the proposal requires other special infrastructure, it is best to
-give an explanation. The Apache infrastructure team usually take some
-convincing before allowing new services on core Apache hardware.
+If the proposal requires other special infrastructure, it is best to
+give an explanation. The Apache infrastructure team usually takes some
+convincing before allowing new services on core hardware.
                 </p>
                 </blockquote>
             </section>
@@ -757,7 +747,7 @@
         <section id='template-initial-committers'><title>Initial Committers</title>
             <blockquote>
                 <p>
-        List of committers to be use to bootstrap the community. Each which has
+        List of committers used to bootstrap the community. Each which has
 submitted a <a href='http://www.apache.org/licenses/#clas'>contributor license agreement</a> 
 (CLA) should be so marked. Please list name and an email address.
 Existing committers should use their <code>apache.org</code> since they
@@ -775,13 +765,13 @@
 a brief introduction) or ask them to post to the general incubator mailing list.
             </p>
 <pre>
-Example:
-	Abe White (awhite at bea dot com)
-	Marc Prud'hommeaux (mprudhom at bea dot com)
-	Patrick Linskey (plinskey at bea dot com)
-	...
-	Geir Magnusson Jr (geirm at apache dot org) *
-	Craig Russell (clr at apache dot org) *
+Example (OpenJPA):
+  Abe White (awhite at bea dot com)
+  Marc Prud'hommeaux (mprudhom at bea dot com)
+  Patrick Linskey (plinskey at bea dot com)
+  ...
+  Geir Magnusson Jr (geirm at apache dot org) *
+  Craig Russell (clr at apache dot org) *
 </pre>
             </blockquote>
         </section>
@@ -803,7 +793,7 @@
                 </p>
                 <p>
 It's probably best to do this in a separate section away from the committers
-list. This list is only for initial committers and drafted into the Podling.
+list. This list is only for initial committers drafted into the Podling.
 It does not need to be maintained and affiliations of new committers elected 
 after the bootstrap do not need to be listed.
                 </p>

Modified: incubator/public/trunk/site-publish/guides/proposal.html
URL: http://svn.apache.org/viewvc/incubator/public/trunk/site-publish/guides/proposal.html?rev=437400&r1=437399&r2=437400&view=diff
==============================================================================
--- incubator/public/trunk/site-publish/guides/proposal.html (original)
+++ incubator/public/trunk/site-publish/guides/proposal.html Sun Aug 27 09:41:05 2006
@@ -238,13 +238,12 @@
 <div class="section-content">
 <p>
 The aim of presenting a template with examples and comments is educational.
-Proposals are not required to adopt this format. If you can see a better
-way: great - try it. 
+Proposals are not required to adopt this format. Best practice evolves.
       </p>
 <p>
 Every proposal is different. There may be sections which don't seem to be
 useful. It's fine to miss them out and to add new ones that the proposal seems
-to need.
+to need. Innovation is acceptable.
       </p>
 <p>
 The format is less important than the content. 
@@ -270,25 +269,23 @@
 <div class="section-content">
 <blockquote>
 <p>
-What is the proposed project? 
-</p><p>
 A short descriptive summary of the
-project. Ideally one sentence in length.
+project. A short paragraph, ideally one sentence in length.
 </p><p>
-The technical vision for an open source project should be communicatable 
-in a short paragraph. This paragraph will most like be used for
+The abstract should be suitable for reuse in
 the board resolution used to create the official project upon graduation,
-may be used as the first paragraph on the web site and as the DOAP
+as the first paragraph on the project web site and as the DOAP
 description.
 </p>
 <pre>
-Examples
-       Geronimo will be a J2EE compliant container.
+Examples:
+
+  Geronimo will be a J2EE compliant container.
        
-       Heraldry will develop technologies around the emerging  
-           user-centric identity space.
+  Heraldry will develop technologies around the emerging  
+    user-centric identity space.
            
-       Yoko will be a CORBA server.
+  Yoko will be a CORBA server.
 </pre>
        </blockquote>
 </div>
@@ -299,15 +296,17 @@
 <blockquote>
 <p>
 A lengthier description of the proposal. Should be reasonably declarative.
-More discursive material can be included in later sections.
+More discursive material should be included in the <a href="#template-rationale">rationale</a>
+(or other later sections).
 </p>
 <pre>
 Example (XAP):
-        XAP is to provide an XML-based declarative framework 
-        for building, deploying and maintaining rich, interactive, 
-        Ajax-powered web applications. A basic principal of XAP 
-        is to leverage existing Ajax 
-        ...
+
+  XAP is to provide an XML-based declarative framework 
+  for building, deploying and maintaining rich, interactive, 
+  Ajax-powered web applications. A basic principal of XAP 
+  is to leverage existing Ajax 
+  ...
 </pre>
         </blockquote>
 </div>
@@ -317,28 +316,27 @@
 <div class="section-content">
 <blockquote>
 <p>
-For some projects, it may be useful to provide context for those unfamiliar
-with the project space and history.
+The contents of this section provide context for those unfamiliar
+with the project space and history. 
 </p><p>
 If there any likelihood of confusion over the meaning of some terms (for example, 
 if there is not a single widely adopted definition), explain what is meant by them.
-if the problem domain is likely to be unfamiliar to many then please give an outline.
+If the problem domain is likely to be unfamiliar to many then please give an outline.
 <p>
 </p>
-This content should be capable of being safely ignored by any domain
-experts.
+This content should be capable of being safely ignored by domain experts.
 <p>
 </p>
 This material should probably find an eventual home on the project website.
 </p>
 <pre>
 Example (Heraldry):
-   To provide some background, the Higgins Project is being actively
-   developed within Eclipse and is a framework that will enable users
-   and enterprises to integrate identity, profile, and relationship 
-   information across multiple systems. Using context providers, 
-   existing and new systems such as directories, collaboration spaces, 
-   ...
+  To provide some background, the Higgins Project is being actively
+  developed within Eclipse and is a framework that will enable users
+  and enterprises to integrate identity, profile, and relationship 
+  information across multiple systems. Using context providers, 
+  existing and new systems such as directories, collaboration spaces, 
+  ...
 </pre>
         </blockquote>
 </div>
@@ -348,14 +346,9 @@
 <div class="section-content">
 <blockquote>
 <p>
-Why does this project need to exist and why should it be adopted by Apache?
-<p>
-</p>
-More discursive material is probably better in this section rather than in
-the proposal.
-<p>
-</p>
-This content should be ignorable for those for whom the need is obvious.
+Explains why this project needs to exist and why should it be adopted by Apache.
+More discursive material is should be included in this section rather than in
+the <a href="#template-proposal">proposal</a>.
 </p>
 <pre>
 Example (Beehive):
@@ -375,27 +368,27 @@
 <div class="section-content">
 <blockquote>
 <p>
-Only include this section if it is not obvious. If the proposal is complex
-(probably involving multiple code bases) then people may worry about it's
-practicality and whether it may drag in too much Apache energy. 
-<p>
+A complex proposal (involving multiple existing code bases, for example)
+may cause concerns that the proposal may not be practical. A good way
+to address these concerns is to create a plan that demonstrates the proposal
+is feasible and has been carefully thought through.
 </p>
-This is a good place to explain the plan and demonstrate that the proposal
-is feasible and has been thought through.
+<p>
+Many projects will not need this section.
 </p>
 <pre>
 Example (Heraldry):
-    * Expansion of Yadis and OpenID libraries into additional
-       languages beyond the existing Python, Ruby, Perl, and 
-       PHP libraries
-    * OpenID authentication specification revision to fix known
-       security considerations, investigate compatibility with 
-       the DIX IETF proposal, describe Yadis integration, and 
-       allow either an URL or XRI be used as the End User's 
-       Identifier
-     ...
+  * Expansion of Yadis and OpenID libraries into additional
+     languages beyond the existing Python, Ruby, Perl, and 
+     PHP libraries
+  * OpenID authentication specification revision to fix known
+     security considerations, investigate compatibility with 
+     the DIX IETF proposal, describe Yadis integration, and 
+     allow either an URL or XRI be used as the End User's 
+     Identifier
+   ...
 </pre>
-        </blockquote>
+        	</blockquote>
 </div>
 <h4>
    <a name="template-current-status">Current Status</a>
@@ -403,124 +396,130 @@
 <div class="section-content">
 <blockquote>
 <p>
-Questions are often asked about the current status of the constituent codebases
-and current development practices.
-It is sometimes useful to preempt these questions by stating honestly
-where how these balance up against principles and ideals. 
+This section (and the contained topics) addresses
+the current status and current development practices of any constituent codebases.
+This should be an honest accessment balancing these against Apache's 
+<a href="http://www.apache.org/foundation/">principles</a> and 
+<a href="http://www.apache.org/foundation/how-it-works.html#management">development ideals</a>. 
 </p><p>
 For some proposals, this is a chance to demonstrate understanding 
-of the issues they'll need to address before graduation, 
-for other this is a chance to highlight that they are similar.
-Some proposals describe this section as criteria.
+of the issues they'll need to address before graduation.
+For others, this is a chance to highlight that they are similar.
+Proposals without an inital codebase should just simply state that.
+</p><p>
+Some proposals name this section <em>criteria</em> though the term is a little misleading.
 </p><p>
 A few possible topics:
 </p>
-        </blockquote>
+        	</blockquote>
 <h5> 
    <a name="template-meritocracy">Meritocracy</a> 
 </h5> 
 <div class="section-content">
-<p>
+<blockquote>
+	     <p>
 Apache is a 
 <a href="http://www.apache.org/foundation/how-it-works.html#meritocracy">meritocracy</a>. 
 Once a developer has submitted enough good patches then it should be 
-natural that they are elected to committer.
-Once they have actively contributed as a committer for a while, it should
-be natural that they are elected to the PMC. 
+natural that they are elected to committer. It should be natural that active committers are elected 
+to the project management committee (PMC). 
 		</p>
-<p>
+		<p>
 This process of renewing and sharing of responsibility is vital to the long term
-health of our projects and it's important that the Incubator PMC is convinced
-that these lessons are well understood.
+health of Apache projects and it's important that the Incubator PMC is convinced
+that these lessons are well understood by the proposers.
         </p>
-<pre>
+        <pre>
 Example (OFBiz):
-OFBiz was originally created by David E. Jones and Andy Zeneski in 
-May 2001. The project now has committers and users from around the world. 
-The newer committers of the project joined in subsequent years by initially
-submitting patches, then having commit privileges for some of the applications, 
-and then privileges over a larger range of applications
-... 
+  OFBiz was originally created by David E. Jones and Andy Zeneski in 
+  May 2001. The project now has committers and users from around the world. 
+  The newer committers of the project joined in subsequent years by initially
+  submitting patches, then having commit privileges for some of the applications, 
+  and then privileges over a larger range of applications
+  ... 
 
 Example (Beehive):
-We plan to do everything possible to encourage an environment that
-supports a meritocracy. One of the lessons that the XMLBeans committers 
-have learned is that meritocracies don't just evolve from good intentions; 
-they require actively asking the community for help, listing/specifying the 
-work that needs to be done, and keeping track of and encouraging 
-members of the community who make any contributions
-...
+  We plan to do everything possible to encourage an environment that
+  supports a meritocracy. One of the lessons that the XMLBeans committers 
+  have learned is that meritocracies don't just evolve from good intentions; 
+  they require actively asking the community for help, listing/specifying the 
+  work that needs to be done, and keeping track of and encouraging 
+  members of the community who make any contributions
+  ...
        </pre>
+    		</blockquote>
 </div>
 <h5> 
    <a name="template-community">Community</a> 
 </h5> 
 <div class="section-content">
-<p>
+<blockquote>
+        <p>
 Apache is interested only in communities. Projects should start with a 
-community and have the potential to attract new developers 
-and a community of users. Explain how the proposal fits this vision.
+community and have the potential renew and grow this community by
+attracting new users and developers. Explain how the proposal fits this vision.
         </p>
 <pre>
 Example (Beehive):
-BEA has been building a community around predecessors to this 
-framework for the last two years. There is currently an active  
-newsgroup that should help us build a new community at Apache
-...
+  BEA has been building a community around predecessors to this 
+  framework for the last two years. There is currently an active  
+  newsgroup that should help us build a new community at Apache
+  ...
 
 Example (WebWork2):
-The WebWork 2 community has a strong following with active 
-mailing lists and forums
-...
+  The WebWork 2 community has a strong following with active 
+  mailing lists and forums
+  ...
 
 Example (WADI):
-The need for a full service clustering and caching component in the 
-open source is tremendous as its use can be applied in many areas, 
-thus providing the potential for an incredibly large community. 
-...
+  The need for a full service clustering and caching component in the 
+  open source is tremendous as its use can be applied in many areas, 
+  thus providing the potential for an incredibly large community. 
+  ...
 </pre>
+			</blockquote>
 </div>
 <h5> 
    <a name="template-core-developers">Core Developers</a> 
 </h5> 
 <div class="section-content">
-<p>
+<blockquote>
+        <p>
 Apache is composed of <a href="http://www.apache.org/foundation/how-it-works.html#hats">individuals</a>. 
 		</p>
-<p>
+		<p>
 It is often useful to provide some kind of introduction to the developers on the 
 <a href="#template-initial-committers">initial committers</a> list.
-This is best done here and not in that section. This is also sometimes used to discuss 
+This is best done here (and not in that section). This may be used to discuss 
 the diversity of the core development team.
         </p>
-<pre>
- Example (ServiceMix)
- 
- The core developers are a diverse group of developers many of which are 
- already very experienced open source developers. There is at least one 
- Apache Member together with a number of other existing Apache Committers 
- along with folks from various companies. http://servicemix.org/Team
- 
- Example (WADI)
+ <pre>
+Example (ServiceMix)
+  The core developers are a diverse group of developers many of which are 
+  already very experienced open source developers. There is at least one 
+  Apache Member together with a number of other existing Apache Committers 
+  along with folks from various companies. http://servicemix.org/Team
  
- WADI was founded by Jules Gosnell in 2004, it now has a strong base of 
- developers from Geronimo, Castor, OpenEJB, Mojo, Jetty, ActiveCluster, 
- ActiveMQ, and ServiceMix.
- </pre>
+Example (WADI) 
+  WADI was founded by Jules Gosnell in 2004, it now has a strong base of 
+  developers from Geronimo, Castor, OpenEJB, Mojo, Jetty, ActiveCluster, 
+  ActiveMQ, and ServiceMix.
+</pre>
+			</blockquote>
 </div>
 <h5> 
    <a name="template-alignment">Alignment</a> 
 </h5> 
 <div class="section-content">
-<p>
-An opertunity to highlight links either with Apache 
+<blockquote>
+        <p>
+Describe why Apache is a good match for the proposal.
+An opertunity to highlight links with Apache 
 <a href="http://projects.apache.org">projects</a>
-or <a href="http://www.apache.org/foundation/how-it-works.html">philosophy</a>.
-Or otherwise talk about why Apache is a good match for the proposal.
+and <a href="http://www.apache.org/foundation/how-it-works.html">development philosophy</a>.
         </p>
 <pre>
 Example (Beehive):
-
   The initial code base is targeted to run within Tomcat, 
   but the goal is to allow the framework to run on any 
   compliant Servlet or J2EE container. The Web services 
@@ -530,6 +529,7 @@
   There are other projects that we will need to work with, 
   such as the Portals and Maven projects.
 </pre>
+			</blockquote>
 </div>
 </div>
 <h4>
@@ -539,8 +539,8 @@
 <blockquote>
 <p>
 An exercise in self-knowledge.
-Risks don't mean that a project is unacceptable.
-It is useful to collect together material preempting questions about possible risks.
+Risks don't mean that a project is unacceptable. If they are recognized and noted 
+then they can usuallly be addressed during incubation. 
 </p>
         </blockquote>
 <h5> 
@@ -556,9 +556,9 @@
             </p>
 <pre>
 Example (Yoko):
-    The contributors are leading vendors in this space.
-    There is no risk of any of the usual warning signs of orphaned 
-    or abandoned code.
+  The contributors are leading vendors in this space.
+  There is no risk of any of the usual warning signs of orphaned 
+  or abandoned code.
 </pre>
         </blockquote>
 </div>
@@ -568,31 +568,29 @@
 <div class="section-content">
 <blockquote>
         <p>
-If the project is also open source with a strong history of open development, then highlight this here.
+If the proposal is is based on an existing open source project with a history of open development, then highlight this here.
         </p>
         <p>
-Inexperience with open source is one reason why close projects choose to apply for incubation.
+Inexperience with open source is one reason why closed projects choose to apply for incubation.
 Apache has developed over the years a store of experience in this area.
 Successfully opening up a closed project means an investment of energy by Apache. 
-It also requires a willingness to learn and to give back to the community from the
+Success requires a willingness to learn and to give back to the community from the
 originators of the codebase.
 		</p>
         <p>
-If the project contains people with a strong open source background 
-then this is the place to highlight this. At the least, it should demonstrate that the proposers
+If the list of initial committers contains people with a strong open source background 
+then highlight this here. At the least, it should demonstrate that the proposers
 have done the research required to understand the open source space.
         </p>
  <pre>
 Example (Cayenne):
- 
-    Cayenne was started as an open source project in 2001 and has 
-    remained so for 5 years.
+  Cayenne was started as an open source project in 2001 and has 
+  remained so for 5 years.
 	 
 Example (Beehive):
-
-    Many of the committers have experience working on open source 
-    projects. Five of them have experience as committers on other 
-    Apache projects.
+  Many of the committers have experience working on open source 
+  projects. Five of them have experience as committers on other 
+  Apache projects.
  </pre>
         </blockquote>
 </div>
@@ -613,11 +611,10 @@
                 </p>
 <pre>
 Example (Beehive):
-
-    The current list of committers includes developers from several different 
-    companies plus many independent volunteers. The committers are geographically 
-    distributed across the U.S., Europe, and Asia. They are experienced with working
-    in a distributed environment.
+  The current list of committers includes developers from several different 
+  companies plus many independent volunteers. The committers are geographically 
+  distributed across the U.S., Europe, and Asia. They are experienced with working
+  in a distributed environment.
 </pre>
             </blockquote>
 </div>
@@ -627,21 +624,20 @@
 <div class="section-content">
 <blockquote>
                 <p> 
-Some worry about the long term health of projects dominated by salaried developers
-who are interested in working on the code only whilst they are employed
-to do so. Apache is 
-<a href="http://www.apache.org/foundation/how-it-works.html#hats">about</a> people, not corporations. 
+There are concerns about the long term health of projects dominated by salaried developers
+who are interested in working on the code only whilst they are employed to do so. 
+				</p><p>
+Apache is <a href="http://www.apache.org/foundation/how-it-works.html#hats">about</a> people, not corporations. 
 We hope that developers continue to be involved with Apache no matter who their current employer
 happens to be. A healthy Apache project should be able to continue in the case of salaried 
 developers being withdrawn.
                 </p>
                 <p>
-This is a right place to indicate the balance between salaried developers 
+This is a right place to indicate the initial balance between salaried developers 
 and volunteers. It's also good to talk about the level of commitment of the developers.
                 </p>
 <pre>
 Example (OpenJPA):
-
   Most of the developers are paid by their employer to contribute 
   to this project, but given the anticipation from the Java community 
   for the a JPA implementation and the committers' sense of ownership 
@@ -656,29 +652,23 @@
 <div class="section-content">
 <blockquote>
                 <p>
-There are concerns about that a candidate may work just inside
-their own little bubble. Apache encourages projects to be open to collaboration
-with other open source projects both within Apache and without. 
+Apache encourages projects to be open to collaboration with other open source projects both 
+within Apache and without. Candidates should be willing to reach outside their own little bubbles.
 				</p><p>
 This is a an opertunity to talk about existing links. It is also the right place to 
 talk about potential future links and plans.
                 </p><p>
-               Apache allows different projects to have competing or
-overlapping goals. However, this should mean friendly competition with
-coorporation whenever this makes sense. Competition between code
+Apache allows different projects to have competing or overlapping goals. However, this should 
+mean friendly competition with coorporation whenever this makes sense. Competition between code
 but cordial coorporation between communities.
                 </p><p>
-It is not always obvious to all
-whether the proposers see themselves as direct competitors with an existing
-project, indirect competitors (same problem space, different ecological
-niche) or just peers with some overlap. So, it's best to note this. 
-It is polite to inform the the projects.
-In the case of indirect competition, it may be important that the abstract 
-describe accurately the niche.
-                </p>
+It is not always obvious (to all) whether a candidate is a direct competitor with an existing
+project, an indirect competitor (same problem space, different ecological niche) or just 
+peers with some overlap. So, it's best to note this. In the case of indirect competition, it is 
+important that the abstract describes accurately the niche.
+				</p>
 <pre>
 Example (OpenJPA):
-
   Open JPA will likely be used by Geronimo, requires some Apache 
   products (regexp, commons collections, commons lang, commons pool), 
   and supports Apache commons logging.
@@ -686,31 +676,38 @@
             </blockquote>
 </div>
 <h5> 
-   <a name="template-brand-fascination">A Fascination with the Apache Brand</a> 
+   <a name="template-brand-fascination">A Excessive Fascination with the Apache Brand</a> 
 </h5> 
 <div class="section-content">
 <blockquote>
                 <p>
 Concerns have been raised in the past that some projects appear to have been proposed 
-just to generate positive publicity for the proposers. A candidate with a closed
-source background should definitely say given some sort of public statement in 
-proposal to convince any possible doubters that this is not the case.
+just to generate positive publicity for the proposers. This is the right place
+to convince everyone that is not the case.
 				</p><p>
-This is also the right place to chance to build bridges with the 
+This is also the right place to build bridges with the 
 community after past misdemeanors (for example, if any of those associated 
 with the proposal have - in the past - sort to associate themselves with the Apache brand in
 factually incorrect ways) and promise good conduct for the future.
-[is this right? why do we have this section?]
                 </p>
 <pre>
 Example (CeltiXfire):
-
   While we expect the Apache brand may help attract more 
   contributors, our interests in starting this project is based 
   on the factors mentioned in the Rationale section. However, 
   we will be sensitive to inadvertent abuse of the Apache brand 
   and will work with the Incubator PMC and the PRC to ensure 
   the brand policies are respected.
+  
+Example (Wicket):
+  The ASF has a strong brand, and that brand is in itself attractive. 
+  However, the developers of Wicket have been quite successful
+  on their own and could continue on that path with no problems
+  at all. We are interested in joining the ASF in order to increase 
+  our contacts and visibility in the open source world. Furthermore, 
+  we have been enthusiastic users of Apache from the earliest hour
+  (remember JServ anyone?), and feel honored at getting the 
+  opportunity to join the club.
 </pre>
             </blockquote>
 </div>
@@ -721,12 +718,10 @@
 <div class="section-content">
 <blockquote>
                 <p>
-References to any further reading material which may be appropriate.
+References to further reading material.
                 </p>
-            </blockquote>
 <pre>
 Examples (Heraldry):
-
   [1] Information on Yadis can be found at:
     http://yadis.org 
     http://www.openidenabled.com
@@ -738,8 +733,8 @@
   The mailing list for both OpenID and Yadis is located at:
     http://lists.danga.com/mailman/listinfo/yadis
   ...
-
 </pre>
+            </blockquote>
 </div>
 <h4>
    <a name="template-initial-source">Initial Source</a>
@@ -751,23 +746,23 @@
 from more than one source, this is the right place to outline the different
 histories.
 </p><p>
-If there is no initial source, note that here as well. 
+If there is no initial source, note that here. 
 </p>
-            </blockquote>
 <pre>
 Example (Heraldry):
-    OpenID has been in development since the summer of 2005. 
-    It currently has an active community (over 15 million enabled
-    accounts) and libraries in a variety of languages. Additionally
-    it is supported by LiveJournal.com and is continuing to gain 
-    traction in the Open Source Community.
-
-    Yadis has been in development since late 2005 and the 
-    specification has not changed since early 2006. Like OpenID, 
-    it has libraries in various languages and there is a large 
-    overlap between the two communities. The specification is
-    ... 
+  OpenID has been in development since the summer of 2005. 
+  It currently has an active community (over 15 million enabled
+  accounts) and libraries in a variety of languages. Additionally
+  it is supported by LiveJournal.com and is continuing to gain 
+  traction in the Open Source Community.
+
+  Yadis has been in development since late 2005 and the 
+  specification has not changed since early 2006. Like OpenID, 
+  it has libraries in various languages and there is a large 
+  overlap between the two communities. The specification is
+  ... 
  </pre>
+             </blockquote>
 </div>
 <h4>
    <a name="template-ip">Source and Intellectual Property Submission Plan</a>
@@ -776,23 +771,23 @@
 <blockquote>
 <p>
 More complex proposals (typically involving multiple code bases) may find it useful
-to draw up an initial plan for the submission of the code here in a separate
-section. Demonstrates that the proposal is practical.
+to draw up an initial plan for the submission of the code here. 
+Demonstrates that the proposal is practical.
 </p>
 <pre>
 Example (Heraldry):
-    * The OpenID specification and content on openid.net from 
-       Brad Fitzpatrick of Six Apart, Ltd. and David Recordon of 
-       VeriSign, Inc.
-    * The domains openid.net and yadis.org from Brad Fitzpatrick 
-       of Six Apart, Ltd. and Johannes Ernst of NetMesh, Inc.
-    * OpenID libraries in Python, Ruby, Perl, PHP, and C# from 
-       JanRain, Inc.
-    ...
-    * Yadis conformance test suite from NetMesh and VeriSign, Inc.
+  * The OpenID specification and content on openid.net from 
+    Brad Fitzpatrick of Six Apart, Ltd. and David Recordon of 
+    VeriSign, Inc.
+  * The domains openid.net and yadis.org from Brad Fitzpatrick 
+     of Six Apart, Ltd. and Johannes Ernst of NetMesh, Inc.
+  * OpenID libraries in Python, Ruby, Perl, PHP, and C# from 
+     JanRain, Inc.
+  ...
+  * Yadis conformance test suite from NetMesh and VeriSign, Inc.
    
-   We will also be soliciting contributions of further plugins and 
-   patches to various pieces of Open Source software.
+  We will also be soliciting contributions of further plugins and 
+  patches to various pieces of Open Source software.
 </pre>
             </blockquote>
 </div>
@@ -804,13 +799,12 @@
 <p>
 External dependencies for the initial source is important. Apache has 
 <a href="http://www.apache.org/legal/3party.html">policy</a>
-about dependencies allowed for projects. These are (to some extent) relaxed
+about which dependencies allowed. These are (to some extent) initially relaxed
 for projects under incubation. Listing dependencies and licenses allows any
 possible problems to be highlighted and the appropriate actions planned.
 </p>
 <pre>
 Example (CeltiXfire):
-
   The dependencies all have Apache compatible licenses. These include BSD, 
   CDDL, CPL, MPL and MIT licensed dependencies.
 </pre>
@@ -834,8 +828,8 @@
 <div class="section-content">
 <blockquote>
 <p>
-       Create a list of resources that the Apache infrastructure will be asked
-supply for this project. Note that the contents of this list may need to be developed.
+Resources that the Apache infrastructure will be asked
+to supply for this project.
 </p>
             </blockquote>
 <h5> 
@@ -850,14 +844,14 @@
                 </p><p>
 If this project is new to open source, it is often best to start with 
 these minimum lists. The initial focus needs to be on recruiting new developers. 
-Developers need to get into the habit of reading and checking commit messages.  
-As momentum is gained, the community may decide that to create commit 
-and user lists in the usual way.
+Early adopters are potential developers.
+As momentum is gained, the community may decide to create commit 
+and user lists.
                 </p><p>
 Existing open source projects moving to Apache will probably want to adopt the
 same mailing list set up here as they have already. However, the transition for users may
-prove more smooth if only the development lists are bootstrapped initially. The user
-lists can then be migrated by a simple podling vote once the Apache infrastructure 
+prove more smooth if only the development lists are bootstrapped. The user
+lists can then be migrated (by a simple podling vote) once the Apache infrastructure 
 is ready and fully prepared.
                 </p>
                 <p>
@@ -865,12 +859,11 @@
 based on the project name. 
                 </p>
 <pre>
-  Example:
-  
-    * beehive-ppmc (with moderated subscriptions)
-    * beehive-dev
-    * beehive-commits
-    * beehive-user
+Example (Beehive):  
+  * beehive-ppmc (with moderated subscriptions)
+  * beehive-dev
+  * beehive-commits
+  * beehive-user
 </pre>
             </blockquote>
 </div>
@@ -885,9 +878,8 @@
 (<a href="http://svn.apache.org/repos/asf/incubator">http://svn.apache.org/repos/asf/incubator</a>).
         	</p>
 <pre>
-Example:
-
-   https://svn.apache.org/repos/asf/incubator/openjpa
+Example (OpenJPA):
+  https://svn.apache.org/repos/asf/incubator/openjpa
 </pre>
 			</blockquote>
 </div>
@@ -898,13 +890,12 @@
 <blockquote>
                 <p>
 Apache runs <a href="https://issues.apache.org/jira/secure/Dashboard.jspa">JIRA</a>
-and <a href="http://issues.apache.org/bugzilla/">Bugzilla</a>. Choose one. Include the
-name by which project will be known in the issue tracking system.
+and <a href="http://issues.apache.org/bugzilla/">Bugzilla</a>. Choose one. Indicate the
+name by which project should be known in the issue tracking system.
                 </p>
 <pre>
-Example:
-    
-    JIRA Open-JPA (OPEN-JPA)
+Example (OpenJPA):
+  JIRA Open-JPA (OPEN-JPA)
 </pre>
             </blockquote>
 </div>
@@ -915,12 +906,12 @@
 <blockquote>
                 <p>
         Other resources such as continuous integration and so on should be
-added by the Podling later in the usual way (votes on list) as momentum is gained. 
-The infrastructure documentation should explain the process.
+added by the Podling later in the usual way (by vote on list) as momentum is gained. 
+The <a href="http://www.apache.org/dev">infrastructure documentation</a> should explain the process.
                 </p><p>
-        If the proposal requires other special infrastructure, it is best to
-give an explanation. The Apache infrastructure team usually take some
-convincing before allowing new services on core Apache hardware.
+If the proposal requires other special infrastructure, it is best to
+give an explanation. The Apache infrastructure team usually takes some
+convincing before allowing new services on core hardware.
                 </p>
                 </blockquote>
 </div>
@@ -931,7 +922,7 @@
 <div class="section-content">
 <blockquote>
                 <p>
-        List of committers to be use to bootstrap the community. Each which has
+        List of committers used to bootstrap the community. Each which has
 submitted a <a href="http://www.apache.org/licenses/#clas">contributor license agreement</a> 
 (CLA) should be so marked. Please list name and an email address.
 Existing committers should use their <code>apache.org</code> since they
@@ -949,13 +940,13 @@
 a brief introduction) or ask them to post to the general incubator mailing list.
             </p>
 <pre>
-Example:
-	Abe White (awhite at bea dot com)
-	Marc Prud'hommeaux (mprudhom at bea dot com)
-	Patrick Linskey (plinskey at bea dot com)
-	...
-	Geir Magnusson Jr (geirm at apache dot org) *
-	Craig Russell (clr at apache dot org) *
+Example (OpenJPA):
+  Abe White (awhite at bea dot com)
+  Marc Prud'hommeaux (mprudhom at bea dot com)
+  Patrick Linskey (plinskey at bea dot com)
+  ...
+  Geir Magnusson Jr (geirm at apache dot org) *
+  Craig Russell (clr at apache dot org) *
 </pre>
             </blockquote>
 </div>
@@ -980,7 +971,7 @@
                 </p>
                 <p>
 It's probably best to do this in a separate section away from the committers
-list. This list is only for initial committers and drafted into the Podling.
+list. This list is only for initial committers drafted into the Podling.
 It does not need to be maintained and affiliations of new committers elected 
 after the bootstrap do not need to be listed.
                 </p>



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