Hello guys,

Thanks for the awesome feedback!

I certainly like your suggestions better than mine.

About the punctuation errors, in Spanish, If what I learned hasn't changed, we don't add commas before we use "and" when "and" is used to name the last element of a list. So in English it is different? I didn't know about that, thanks!, and maybe that's why I added "headers and" instead of "headers, and" in my sentence.

If I had to choose, I'd use your suggestion:
"Requests, responses, headers, and other typical elements still exist from the HTTP specification."

Specifying HTTP/1.x or not maybe not that important since the context implies it refers to previous spec, but it is good to use it too nonetheless.

About "typical", I think the idea is to refer to those "familiar" elements we all know about HTTP, that still remain in HTTP/2, so maybe we can change to that word "familiar"? Does it sound good like this then?:

"Requests, responses, headers, and other familiar elements still exist from the HTTP/1.x specification." 


Anyways, rather than stress ourselves with one single sentence I think the point mainly is if we should modify sentences that, although perfectly valid, may sound too informal in the documentation, I noticed some more examples along the same document that could take a bit of improvement in formality, or at least translating some parts faithfully to spanish would sound way too informal. When I finish translating the whole thing to Spanish I may ask for all other suggestions to formality in one shot if you guys agree.

Thank you very much.


2016-11-29 23:05 GMT+01:00 Houser, Rick <rick.houser@jackson.com>:

Native Mid-West U.S. Speaker here…

 

Your change is a significant improvement, but the language still seems a bit off.  Specifically, “and all those” and “and all that” stand out.  Try one of these, but note that I did not have full context of the sentence:

 

"There are still requests, responses, headers, and other typical elements from HTTP."

"Requests, responses, headers, and other typical elements still exist from the HTTP specification."

"Requests, responses, headers, and other typical elements remain from HTTP."

 

 

Should it also reference HTTP/1.x directly rather than just the generic HTTP?

 

Is “typical” actually important?  In my examples above, that word can probably be removed for the better.

 

Also the plurality of the sentence should match; note how I changed request to requests above.

 

With lists, the comma placement after the and seems to vary significantly with region.  Here, we typically terminate the term immediately before “and” with a comma, but not all areas do so.  Either is correct, as long as it’s consistent.

 

 

Rick Houser

Web Administration

 

From: Luis Gil de Bernabé [mailto:ljgbpfeiffer@googlemail.com]
Sent: Tuesday, November 29, 2016 16:11
To: docs@httpd.apache.org
Subject: Re: small patch for httpd-trunk/docs/manual/howto/http2.xml

 

Nice, 

sounds better, but here an English spoken commiter might better check this out :) 

Regards.

 


 

On 29 November 2016 at 17:37, Daniel <daniel@ezra-s.net> wrote:

Hello,

 

I'd like to submit a little patch for a sentence in:

httpd-trunk/docs/manual/howto/http2.xml

 

The original sentence I'm changing is:

"There are still request and responses and headers and all that"

and the proposed change is:
"There are still request,responses, headers and all those typical elements from HTTP"

 

The reasoning behind this starts while trying to translate the sentence to Spanish, where it becomes too aparent as chatty, or tasteless, and from my standpoint it may also sound too coloquial in english too (although I'm no native speaker so that's up to you guys to judge).

 

I'm attaching the diff file which includes the whole paragrah because it has also been adapted for word wrapping.

 

If I'm being too picky or proposing this incorrectly, please do not hesitate to let me know.


 

--

Daniel Ferradal

IT Specialist

 

email         daniel at ezra-s.net



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--
Daniel Ferradal
IT Specialist

email         daniel at ezra-s.net