I feel like we've gotten off task. 

The key issue here is that OP owes us a lot of fees and isn't paying up. Now, are we gonna take this crap or are we sending ninjas, pirates or pastries? I talked to Legal, they'll run cover on HR.

On Fri, Sep 7, 2012 at 6:54 AM, Michael Segel <michael_segel@hotmail.com> wrote:
Pizza and Gin really don't go together. 
Now had you said Jack or Jim? Meh I could see that. 

The only downside is that the folks in HR can't hold their liquor. 
Granted, Kim is a fun drunk but Wayne can get downright nasty. 
And watch out for the cougar. Give her one drink, she's all hands and not in a good way. ;-)

This is why most companies discourage Alcohol on the premise. Sure there's that drinking and driving we want to avoid, but its more from the fact that the HR folks can't handle their booze. Oh and don't even get me started about accounting.... in some ways they are worse. 

I know one guy who tried to off himself at the company holiday party because he was trapped in the corner by a couple of junior guys in accounting.  I swear, they are worse than zombies and they can actually suck the will to live from you... 

But that's a different story. 

My point was that as a BOFH or a junior BOFH, you need to know how to control the management types and keep your ninjas well trained and ready for action....

On Sep 7, 2012, at 7:27 AM, Fabio Pitzolu <fabio.pitzolu@gr-ci.com> wrote:

Why not pizza for everyone and a crate of gin bottles?

2012/9/7 Michael Segel <michael_segel@hotmail.com>
You're not fat, you're big boned and you have a wonderful personality and a great sense of humor.

As to being a distraction to the ninjas, the pastries were meant for HR as a brib... er... gift. Can you imagine anyone from HR trying to do a real job? They need that sugar and caffeine just to stay awake at their desks. 

Its both funny and pathetic seeing a grown woman asleep and drooling on her desk. But hey! Look at the bright side. The last time someone gave them that 5 hour energy drink, they had so much energy that they stuck their noses in to everything and managed to muck things up that it took us months to clean up their messes. 

As to the ninjas... sorry that sugar high or even caffeine high can be deadly. 

Definitely not a good mix. Gluten free foods with simple chicken and fish work best. 

On Sep 7, 2012, at 12:10 AM, Russell Jurney <russell.jurney@gmail.com> wrote:

With the pastries, I feel like you're calling me fat. And that they're a distraction for the Ninjas.

Russell Jurney http://datasyndrome.com

On Sep 6, 2012, at 10:05 PM, sathyavageeswaran <sathya@morisonmenon.com> wrote:

Yah that would be great!


From: Fabio Pitzolu [mailto:fabio.pitzolu@gr-ci.com]
Sent: 06 September 2012 18:59
To: user@hadoop.apache.org
Subject: Re: Legal Matter


"Upscale the Pastries" would be a great name for a BigData blog.


2012/9/6 Michael Segel <michael_segel@hotmail.com>

You know if it wasn't for HR, working on Big Data projects would be fun. 


Why don't you do what I always do... Show up with a box of doughnuts and a box of Coffee? 

Works like a charm. Just don't get the ones with sprinkles on them. Bob doesn't like them. 


Also tell them that is an overseas assignment so that they don't try and hit you up with OSHA concerns which only affect us in the states. 


And if this is a rush job. Upscale the pastries.  (But you didn't hear this from me. )  ;-)





PS. And who said that our Ninjas could only throw code exceptions? 


On Sep 6, 2012, at 8:09 AM, Russell Jurney <russell.jurney@gmail.com> wrote:

HR is giving us crap over our use of pirates for business development.

Russell Jurney http://datasyndrome.com

On Sep 6, 2012, at 6:02 AM, Michael Segel <michael_segel@hotmail.com> wrote:

Why can't we use our Ninja's? 

They are sitting on the bench. 


On Sep 6, 2012, at 7:52 AM, Russell Jurney <russell.jurney@gmail.com> wrote:

Also there is a copy fee of $80 per page, and this thread is already ten pages, including headers, duplicated in triplicate that comes to $2,400 plus a flat reply fee of $600 for a total of $3,600 plus retainer. Should you reply to this message, please estimate additional copy and reply fees and forward them along, as we already have a sizable bill outstanding (aforementioned copy and reply fees as well as two days back-retainer for a total of $6,000 US) and billing is hounding me for collection. Please don't make us use ninjas.

On Sep 5, 2012, at 10:38 PM, sathyavageeswaran <sathya@morisonmenon.com> wrote:

Our retainer fee is US$ 1200/- per day and minimum retainership of 15 days in a year.




From: Akiyoshi Takahashi [mailto:akiyoshiakahashi1@gmail.com]
Sent: 05 September 2012 14:45
To: user@hadoop.apache.org
Subject: Legal Matter


We are media publisher company here in Japan and we have a breach of intellectual property agreement matter in your jurisdiction. Please advise us on your retainer fee so that we can forward you the agreement for your review and run a conflict check.

Yours Sincerely,

Mr. Akiyoshi Takahashi
Yushindo Kobun-sha Publishing Co., Ltd.
1-8-1, Hongo, Bunkyo-ku,
Tokyo ZIP 113-0033
TEL: 03-3813-4511


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Russell Jurney twitter.com/rjurney russell.jurney@gmail.com datasyndrome.com