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From Robert Koberg <...@koberg.com>
Subject Fom continuations use-case :) Re: no more Quirks Mode
Date Tue, 28 May 2002 23:32:29 GMT
David Crossley wrote:

>Steven Noels wrote: 
>  
>
>>ps: David, we are still allowed to make jokes on the list, no?
>>    
>>
>
>In my opinion, only if it is very clear that it is a joke.
>Otherwise all that happens is that people get confused and
>non-productive. It is especially hard for non-native English
>speakers to understand.
>
>Definitely no "jokes" should attempt to poke fun at any
>particular person, which was what prompted me to say that.
>--David
>
>
>  
>
Seriosly, this would be fun to use as an example :) Hopefully, because 
of Hollywood, ridiculing los angelians is universal?
((I won't do it again :-))

GREATER LOS ANGELES AREA DRIVER'S LICENSE APPLICATION:

Name: ___________________ Stage name: _____________________
Agent: ___________________ Attorney: _______________________ Therapist's 
name: ___________________

Sex: [ ] male [ ] female [ ] formerly male [ ] formerly female  [ ] both 
[ ] neither [ ] either

*If female, indicate breast implant size: _______

Will the size of your implants hinder your ability to safely operate a 
motor vehicle in any way?

Yes [ ] No [ ]

Please list brand of cell phone: __________________.

*If you don't own a cell phone, please explain:________________________

Please check hair color:

Females: [ ] Blonde [ ] Platinum Blonde

Teenagers: [ ] Red [ ] Orange [ ] Green [ ] Purple [ ] Blue [ ] Skinhead

Please check activities you perform while driving: (Check all that apply)

[ ] Eating
[ } Drinking Starbucks coffee
[ ] Applying make-up
[ ] Shaving (male or female)
[ ] Talking on the phone
[ ] Slapping kids in the back-seat
[ ] Applying cellulite treatment to thighs
[ ] Tanning [X] Snorting cocaine (already checked for your convenience)
[ ] Watching TV [ ] Reading Variety
[ ] Surfing the net via laptop
[ ] Discharging firearms / Reloading

Please indicate how many times per month:

[ ] you expect to shoot at other drivers _____
[ ] how many times you expect to be shot at while driving _____

If you are the victim of a carjacking, you should immediately:

[ ] Call the police to report the crime.
[ ] Call Channel 9 News to report the crime, then watch your car on the 
news in a high-speed chase.
[ ] Call your attorney and discuss lawsuit against cellular phone 
company for 911 call not going through.
[ ] Call your therapist.

In the event of an earthquake, you should:

[ ] stop your car.
[ ] keep driving and hope for the best.
[ ] immediately use your cell phone to call all loved ones.
[ ] pull out your video camera and obtain footage for Channel 9.

In the instance of rain, you should:

[ ] never drive over 5 MPH.
[ ] drive twice as fast as usual.
[ ] you're not sure what "rain" is.

Please indicate number of therapy sessions per week: ______.

Are you presently taking any of the following medications (check all 
that apply)?

[ ] Prozac
[ ] Zovirax [ ] Lithium [ ] Zanax [ ] Valium [ ] Zoloft [ ] All of the above
[ ] None of the above*

*If none, please explain: __________________.

Length of daily commute:

[ ] Less than 1 hour*
[ ] 1 hour
[ ] 2 hours [ ] 3 hours [ ] 4 hours or more

* If less than 1 hour, please explain:____________________.

When stopped by police, you should:

[ ] pull over and have your driver's license and insurance form ready.


[ ] try to outrun them by driving the wrong way on the 405 Freeway.
[ ] have your video camera ready and provoke them to attack, thus 
ensuring yourself of a hefty lawsuit.


When turning, you should always signal your intentions by:

[ ] using your directional signals.
[ ] what is a "directional signal"?


Which part of your car will wear out most often?

[ ] the wiper blades
[ ] the belts
[ ] the horn
Automatic door locks are good for:

[ ] security
[ ] convenience
[ ] messing with the heads of people trying to get in

The "bright" setting on your headlights is for:

[ ] dark, poorly lit roads
[ ] flashing to get the car ahead to move out of the way
[ ] revenge!

Your rear view mirror is for:

[ ] watching for approaching cars
[ ] watching for approaching police cars
[ ] checking your hair



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