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From Carol Frampton <cfram...@adobe.com>
Subject Re: [Marketing] - Telling the world that we are a TLP...
Date Mon, 07 Jan 2013 21:53:00 GMT
My general impression is there are too many words even ignoring the last
paragraphs which I'm guessing are required by Apache.  Are we sure we
shouldn't do a press release for becoming a TLP and another one for the
4.9 release?  My personal opinion is that this kind of press release needs
to grab the reader's attention in the first few sentences or it will get
deleted before it completely read.

The first sentence isn't a complete sentence.  Additionally, given we want
to advertise Apache I don't think the first sentence should contain Adobe
and have no mention of Apache.

>>  Flex, the Adobe Systems (ADBE) seeded Open Source software framework
>>used for building and maintaining expressive web applications that
>>deploy consistently on all major browsers, desktops and devices
>>(including smartphones, tablets and TV).

The futures paragraph seems out of place to me or maybe it is just because
the writing style is different than the rest of the document.

Since the press release is from Denver, internationalisation should be
spelled in American English.  If left in its present form there are other
sentences that need cleaning up as well.


On 1/7/13 4 :26PM, "Guthmann, Scott" <sguthmann@on3solutions.com> wrote:

>I drafted a press release to announce Flex becoming a TLP and also
>announcing the new version 4.9 + installer 2.0.
>Will you please validate the technical accuracy of the DRAFT? I think
>anyone who has this link has the ability to view & edit this document.
>You must sign in to your Google account to edit it.

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