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From "Brian W. Fitzpatrick" <f...@apache.org>
Subject Re: [ApacheDS][release] Announcing the release of ApacheDS 0.8,
Date Fri, 21 Jan 2005 13:55:35 GMT
(Just a few grammar tweaks and an additional paragraph)

On Jan 20, 2005, at 11:07 PM, Trustin Lee wrote:

> Hi.
>
> Apache Directory project team has released ApacheDS 0.8 yesterday, and
> wants to announce it to TheServerSide.com and freshmeat.net.  I posted
> this message to directory-dev@incubator.apache.org to get confirmed by
> team members.  Noel Bergman told me PRC must be involved for all press
> releases, so I'm posting the announcement statement to see this is OK.
>
> Here is the announcement statement I wrote:
>
> -------- BEGIN --------
> Apache Directory team is pleased to announce the release of ApacheDS
> 0.8, a pure-Java LDAP server.
>
> Our primary vision is to build an enterprise directory server platform
> and its components where other Internet services ( DNS, DHCP, SLP,
> UDDI, ... ) snap in to store their data within the directory so they
> may be managed using LDAP.

"The primary goal of the Apache Directory Project is to build...".  I'd 
rephrase and pull the TLAs out of the parentheses--maybe divide into 2 
sentences?

> Features:
>
> * Designed as an LDAP and X.500 experimentation platform.
> * The server exposes all aspects of administration via a special
> system backend.
>   * JMX compliance is pending.

Change to active voice: "Pending JMX compliance"

> * Java based triggers and stored procedures are being implemented.

Active voice.

> * Both the backend subsystem and the frontend are separable and
> independently embeddable.

Same.

> * A server side JNDI LDAP provider which directly interacts with the
> backend storage.

Not a sentence.

> * Based on a simple Staged Event Driven Architecture (SEDA) which can
> handle large amounts of concurrency.

Kind of weak.

> Please note that the Directory Project is an effort undergoing
> incubation at the Apache Software Foundation (ASF).  While incubation
> status is not necessarily a reflection of the completeness or
> stability of the code, it does indicate that the project has yet to be
> fully endorsed by the ASF.
>
> Check ApacheDS at: http://incubator.apache.org/directory/

I think the content of the announcement is great, but it could use a 
little bit of "strength" in its presentation.  These are just my 
recommendations--feel free to ignore them. :)

> -------- END --------

Please add this paragraph to the end:

The Apache Software Foundation provides organizational, legal, and 
financial support for a broad range of open source software projects. 
The Foundation provides an established framework for intellectual 
property and financial contributions that simultaneously limits 
contributors potential legal exposure. Through a collaborative and 
meritocratic development process, Apache projects deliver 
enterprise-grade, freely available software products that attract large 
communities of users.

> Is it OK to post the announcement by myself, or is there any person
> who does it for me?

This isn't an "official" press release, so as long as your project's 
PPMC gives it the thumbs up, you're golden.

Good luck, and congrats on the release!

-Fitz

--
Brian W. Fitzpatrick
Vice President, Public Relations
The Apache Software Foundation
312-925-0194


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