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From Alex Karasulu <>
Subject Re: Learning deescalation
Date Wed, 07 Jul 2004 18:25:33 GMT

> Keep in mind that others *will* ask questions like these the more the 
> project becomes known, and the project has to learn how to handle them 
> without making a fuzz out of them each time.

Absolutely - this however hit a nerve and was a special case but that's no excuse to let it
> As a general guide, the best way not to escalate tension is through 
> silence. [2] For example, if at one point I was said "we have already 
> decided for this", but I still kept on bugging, simply not responding 
> would have made me desist.
> Finally, as Noel said, voting should not be used to deescalate, as in 
> fact it does the opposite, and should generally be used only to ratify 
> important decisions of which there is already consensus, or when the 
> discussion has been long enough to warrant a stop on it. In this case 
> the decision was already taken and nobody challenged it (remember, I was 
> just asking), 

Absolutely you were just asking and you probably were shocked at the intensity of the responses.
 I hope my email did not discourage you.  It was directed more to the community.  You just
asked the question.  It was the flurry of emails all of a sudden that I noticed afterwords
which started to appear like a rehash of the names.  I did not want to reply back about it
at first.  In fact to quote myself I said regretfully, "I knew I had to reply at some point".
The flurry of activity on this topic was "the opened can of worms" I referred to. 

So please don't think twice about volunteering your opinions and thoughts.  To jade you out
of volunteering (or anyone else in this group) is something I would like to prevent.  We need
all the input we can get on all aspects.

> so it was not needed. If I wanted to start a vote, simply 
> not voting would have made the issue drop automatically.

Yes I'm realizing that.  We need to learn how to master this art form of communication.  The
PROM is being flashed as we speak.

These are all very good points and part of the growing pains any community must go through.
 Escalation = Stress != Fun.  


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