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From "Jean T. Anderson" <...@bristowhill.com>
Subject Re: Doc notice for JDBC 4 functionality in Derby 10.2
Date Wed, 13 Sep 2006 22:29:49 GMT
Laura Stewart wrote:
> On 9/13/06, Jean T. Anderson <jta@bristowhill.com> wrote:
> 
>> how's this for consolidating yours and mine latest:
>>
>> This documentation references new JDBC 4.0 functionality that is not
>> enabled in this Apache Derby 10.2 release because a final Java SE 6
>> release was not available when this release was produced. JDBC 3.0 will
>> be available by default when used with a Java SE 6 virtual machine. JDBC
>> 4.0 functionality will only be available to developers who download Java
>> SE 6 themselves and with it build Derby's optional JDBC 4.0 support.
>> Please see the Release Notes for details on how to build this optional
>> JDBC 4.0 functionality. ***Please also note the licensing restrictions
>> which limit your use of beta versions of Java SE 6. The beta JDK may
>> only be used for evaluation purposes; the same restriction applies to
>> Derby's JDBC 4.0 support when built using the beta version of Java SE
>> 6.***
>>
> 
> Hi Jean -
> Just a couple of things that you might want to be aware of:
> 
> * Try to avoid using "it" as in "...themselves and with it build
> Derby's..."
> "it" might refer to several things, and for people for whom English is
> not there first language it can be difficult to determine which thing
> you are referring to.  So it would be clearer to say "themselves and
> with Java SE 6, build..."  Part of this confusion is because the
> sentence is really long :-)
> 
> * It might be good to change this phrase "not available when this
> release was produced" to avoid using "this release". The sentences
> here are are talking about both the Derby and the JDBC releases and it
> is better to specify the release as in "not available when this Derby
> release was produced."
> 
> * It is better to avoid concatenations like "Derby's" if you can.
> They can be difficult to translate. For example, ...to Derby's JDBC
> 4.0 support..." would be better as "to the to JDBC 4.0 support in
> Derby".
> 
> These are merely suggestions for clarity.
> 

Thanks, Laura, I'm already heavily wordsmithing it for readability and
also to shorten (eliminate redundancy in all the ideas compiled).  I'll
post samples in a little bit for folks to review.

 -jean


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