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From "Halley Pacheco de Oliveira (JIRA)" <derby-...@db.apache.org>
Subject [jira] Updated: (DERBY-1394) Working With Derby - Introduction and prerequisites - Improvements
Date Sat, 17 Jun 2006 18:22:31 GMT
     [ http://issues.apache.org/jira/browse/DERBY-1394?page=all ]

Halley Pacheco de Oliveira updated DERBY-1394:
----------------------------------------------

    Attachment: twwdIntro_3.diff
                twwdIntro_3.diff.html
                twwdIntro_3.html

Hi Stan,

Trying to reach an agreement, I'm sending a new proposal for the modifications. To apply these
modifications to the original text you have to download the twwdIntro_3.diff file to the trunk
directory, change the current directory to trunk, and execute the command "patch -p0 <
twwdIntro_3.diff" (if you are using Linux or cygwin on Windows).

To generate the html file you can use the command:

ant html.workingwithderby

To see the generated html file you can use the command:

konqueror out/workingwithderby/twwdIntro.html

Then you can edit the file "src/workingwithderby/twwdIntro.dita", make all modifications you
want, generate the html file again, and attach it to DERBY-1394 issue to give opportunity
to more people to be able to comment it.

Finally you can commit the file using the command:

svn commit src/workingwithderby/twwdIntro.dita --message="DERBY-1394 Working With Derby -
Introduction and prerequisites - Improvements"

About the modifications:

#1 - Ok, we agree.

#2 and #4 - We can make this item similar to the used for JAVA_HOME:

---

2. Verify that the DERBY_HOME environment variable is set and points to the filesystem path
to the root directory of the Derby 10.2 installation:  Open a command window and run the appropriate
command for your system:

On Windows platforms:

    echo %DERBY_HOME%

On UNIX Korn Shell platforms:

    echo $DERBY_HOME

The output from the command will look something like this:

Windows: C:\derby
Unix/Linux: /opt/derby

If Derby is not installed or cannot be found, please install a copy now. The most recent version
of Derby can be downloaded from: http://db.apache.org/derby/derby_downloads.html. From the
Download page use the link to the 'Latest Official Release', then locate the bin distribution
(e.g. db-derby-<version>-bin.zip and db-derby-<version>-bin.tar.gz). Download
the appropriate file for your platform, '-bin.zip' for Windows or '-bin.tar.gz' for Unix/Linux,
and unzip/untar this file. After decompressing the downloaded file, move the directory created
to the filesystem path chosen to be the root directory of the Derby installation (e.g. move
db-derby-<version>-bin C:\derby).

---

I decided to maintain the installation instructions, because I couldn't locate installation
information bundled with the download. I searched for it in the manuals too, but without success.
If you know where to find it, we can replace the text by a reference to the instructions document.

#3 Commas

Ok, but in:

"Derby is a full featured, open source relational database engine that is written and implemented
completely in Java. It provides users with a small footprint, standards-based Java database
that can be tightly embedded into any Java based solution."

if "Java database" is a "database engine that is written and implemented completely in Java"
it is already said, and if it is a "database that can be tightly embedded into any Java based
solution" it is already said too. So, in my opinion, "Java database" can be replaced by "database
engine" and the sentence becomes:

"Derby is a full featured, open source relational database engine. It is written and implemented
completely in Java, and provides users with a small footprint standards-based database engine
that can be tightly embedded into any Java based solution."

I am also not studied in English grammar, I'm a System Analyst, but there are good informations
about Using Commas in the link http://owl.english.purdue.edu/handouts/grammar/g_comma.html
. I removed some of the commas that I suggested.

--halley

> Working With Derby - Introduction and prerequisites - Improvements
> ------------------------------------------------------------------
>
>          Key: DERBY-1394
>          URL: http://issues.apache.org/jira/browse/DERBY-1394
>      Project: Derby
>         Type: Improvement

>   Components: Documentation
>     Versions: 10.2.0.0
>  Environment: DITA-sourced documentation
>     Reporter: Halley Pacheco de Oliveira
>     Priority: Minor
>      Fix For: 10.2.0.0
>  Attachments: twwdIntro.diff, twwdIntro.diff.html, twwdIntro.html, twwdIntro_2.diff,
twwdIntro_2.diff.html, twwdIntro_2.html, twwdIntro_3.diff, twwdIntro_3.diff.html, twwdIntro_3.html
>
> 1) There is a gramatical error:
> It's written "sections" and not "section":
> "In way of introduction this sections provides a brief description of Derby."
> and should be, in my opinion:
> "In way of introduction this section provides a brief description of Derby."
> 2) DERBY_HOME
> It's written:
> "Note the filesystem path to the Derby installation (referred to as DERBY_HOME)."
> but DERBY_HOME doesn't appear anywhere else in this page, so it is not possible
> to note it in this page. It only appears in the activities pages. By this reason,
> in my opinion, the sentence should be:
> "Note the filesystem path to the Derby installation (referred to as DERBY_HOME) in the
activities sections."
> 3) Commas could be used to make some sentences shorter:
> ===
> - "Derby is a full featured, open source relational database engine that is written and
implemented completely in Java."
> into
> + "Derby is a full featured, open source, relational database engine, that is written
and implemented completely in Java."
> ===
> - "It provides users with a small footprint, standards-based Java database that can be
tightly embedded into any Java based solution."
> into
> + "It provides users with a small footprint, standards-based, Java database, that can
be tightly embedded into any Java based solution."
> ===
> - "In it's default configuration there is no separate database server to be installed
or maintained by the end user."
> into
> + "In it's default configuration, there is no separate database server to be installed
or maintained by the end user."
> ===
> - "This document demonstrates but does not teach the Java, JDBC and SQL presented so
readers wishing a deeper understanding of these topics will need additional reference materials."
> into
> + "This document demonstrates, but does not teach, the Java, JDBC and SQL presented,
so readers wishing a deeper understanding of these topics will need additional reference materials.
> ===
> - "If unsure about the Java or Derby environments installed perform the following steps
before attempting the subsequent activities:"
> into
> + "If unsure about the Java or Derby environments installed, perform the following steps
before attempting the subsequent activities:"
> ===
> - "The output you see may be different from what is shown here because the java -version
command outputs vendor-specific information."
> into
> + "The output you see may be different from what is shown here, because the java -version
command outputs vendor-specific information."
> ===
> - "If the command produced an error or the version listed is not 1.3 or higher please
install a Java development kit before continuing."
> into
> + "If the command produced an error or the version listed is not 1.3 or higher, please
install a Java development kit before continuing."
> ===
> - "From the Downloads page use the link to the 'Latest Official Release' then locate
the bin distribution (e.g. db-derby-10.2.0-bin). Download the file and unbundle the release."
> into
> + "From the Download page use the link to the 'Latest Official Release', then locate
the bin distribution (e.g. db-derby-10.2.0-bin). Download the file and unbundle the release."
> 4) Download the file and unbundle the release.
> Is is not easy to understand what this sentence means. There are two files for the binary
distribution: -bin.zip and -bin.tar.gz
> So the previous sentence could be changed to:
> "From the Download page use the link to the 'Latest Official Release', then locate the
bin distribution (e.g. db-derby-10.1.2.1-bin.zip and db-derby-10.1.2.1-bin.tar.gz). Download
the appropriate file for your platform, '-bin.zip' for Windows or '-bin.tar.gz' for Unix/Linux",
and unzip/untar this file. After decompressing the downloaded file, move the directory created
to the filesystem path choosed to be the root directory of the Derby installation (e.g., move
db-derby-10.1.2.1-bin C:\Derby)

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