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From lenz <>
Subject Re: “Yes, and…”, not “But…” (Was: [PROPOSAL] Create mailing list)
Date Tue, 15 Sep 2015 00:46:17 GMT
I am normally only reading here and write really rarely but this discussion
is super interesting for me. I work with a lot of teams, many of them early
stage startups, teams that don't know each other very well and are super
motivated but have no clear structure yet on how to work together on a
problem. Many of the points discussed here are things I see regularly.

A game I use often to get teams through stalling discussions is a modified
version of roman voting. Thumbs up for "i am on bard with this" thumb
sideways for "I am not sold but have nothing better" and thumb down for
"Not on board and here is a better idea". The rules are, you can't be
against anything without a better idea. The reasoning behind this is that a
simple "No" is nothing that can be acted on, it is a stalling and
de-motivating statement. A "No but how about this" is a discussion that can
continue. A "No, but don't have anything better" means you are on board
with the current proposal and support it till there is a better one.

I don't say that this is the best way to solve stalling discussions but it
certainly helps to unstuck teams and get them moving again. It also
encourages a discussion style that helps to progress with ideas and pick
the best idea at the time, knowing that it will evolve but the next
iteration will have all the learnings from the previous one.

Applying it to this discussion a possible flow could have looked like this:

A: "How about a design@ML"
B: "No, www@ML did not work in the past but how about a medium blog"
C: "interesting point, is www@ and design@ really the same crowd? can we
make the assumption that it will have the same fate?"
A: "really like the medium idea, who thinks this is a better idea than the

The important bit in the second line is the counter proposal, not just a
"this did not work in the past so we should not do it".


On Tue, Sep 15, 2015 at 11:57 AM, ermouth <> wrote:

> >  I find "yes-and" to be a fun and relaxed style
> I must admit, I also find it very funny sometimes ) Proposed ‘Yes, and’ as
> enforced opening phrase for comments, see sibling thread. We can even allow
> authors to select comments policy, like ‘Allow any comments’, ‘Force all
> comments start with Yes, and’ – and so on.
> It can be really funny, and I clearly see UI for it.
> ermouth
> 2015-09-15 2:49 GMT+03:00 Jason Smith <>:
> > On Mon, Sep 14, 2015 at 11:49 PM, ermouth <> wrote:
> >
> > > > Have you ever played "Dungeons and Dragons"?
> > >
> > > Sorry, I played Civilization. What I learned was that saying ‘No’ at
> > right
> > > moment is much more important to have excellent score, then saying
> ‘Yes’
> > > each time )
> > >
> >
> > :)
> >
> > Cool. Well, anyway, I find "yes-and" to be a fun and relaxed style. The
> fun
> > bit is important too, since, this is a volunteer effort.
> >

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