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From Greg Chase <g...@gregchase.com>
Subject Re: Advice for community participation to lower tension
Date Sun, 10 Apr 2016 15:24:45 GMT
Reposted to StackExchange - Community Building
<http://communitybuilding.stackexchange.com/questions/1496/how-to-reduce-tensions-in-a-virtual-community-full-of-passionate-people>,
and it seems to be appreciated.

On Fri, Apr 8, 2016 at 8:37 PM, Niclas Hedhman <niclas@hedhman.org> wrote:

> Feel free to do whatever you want...
>
> The only other "source" is general advice given on mailing lists at ASF and
> elsewhere, that I "consumed" into my consciousness, tried and filtered. No
> verbatim source exist.
>
> Cheers
> Niclas
>
> On Sat, Apr 9, 2016 at 11:17 AM, Greg Chase <gchase@gmail.com> wrote:
>
> > This is excellent. I hope you don't mind if I fork this!
> >
> > Are you the original source or is there another place that deserves
> credit
> > as well?
> >
> > This email encrypted by tiny buttons & fat thumbs, beta voice
> recognition,
> > and autocorrect on my iPhone.
> >
> > > On Apr 8, 2016, at 6:50 PM, Niclas Hedhman <niclas@hedhman.org> wrote:
> > >
> > > Everyone,
> > > recently there was some tension/friction in a community, and I posted
> the
> > > following advice to everyone to better get along. Not only did the
> > > community members responded positively, but I also got pinged privately
> > to
> > > make this available publicly, so here it is, and I will let the wider
> > > community do with it what it sees fit...
> > >
> > >
> > > First a few general guidelines;
> > >  a. Assume that the other party agrees more than disagrees with you. We
> > > tend to leave out agreements and focus on differences. Sometime this is
> > > forgotten and escalation becomes absurd for no rational reason.
> > >
> > >  b. When in doubt, assume that you are interpreting the message wrongly
> > > and kindly ask for verification that you understood a particular topic
> > well.
> > >
> > >  c. When writing, assume that every sentence will be misinterpreted.
> > > Review and try to reformulate to be as clear as possible.
> > >
> > >  d. Use a submissive tone in all writing. Instead of the strong "In my
> > > opinion, we must..." or the quite neutral "I think we should...", try
> to
> > > use "Maybe we should consider..." or "Another idea that we could..."
> > >
> > >   e. If you disagree strongly with an email sent, tag it Important,
> then
> > > put it aside. Read it half a day later again. Put it aside. Read it
> again
> > > next day, and then it is easier to write a balanced and inviting
> > response,
> > > instead of the initial vitriol that flows through us when we get
> upset. I
> > > found that sometimes a response wouldn't be necessary, as the
> importance
> > > was actually much lower than originally perceived, and I would be able
> to
> > > work "with", instead of "against", a given change.
> > >
> > >  f. Be forgiving and accept different priorities. The other person is
> not
> > > out to get you or attack your work. More often than not, it is one of
> the
> > > above (a-d) that are failing, or that the other person prioritize some
> > > aspect higher than you do. Sometimes, this requires compromises,
> > sometimes
> > > not and the different priorities can co-exist.
> > >
> > >
> > > Most communities at Apache consists of level-headed, reasonable people,
> > who
> > > have a strong vested interest in its Apache project. This interest,
> often
> > > passion, is both the source of tension, but it is also what unites the
> > > people within the community. It is easy to forget the vast amount of
> > > agreement that exists, and get upset over relatively small
> disagreements.
> > > Ability to put that aside, or downplay the importance, will ensure a
> > > harmonious project.
> > >
> > > Face-to-Face is excellent way to eliminate disagreements, but that is
> > often
> > > not practical. Consider Skype or Google Hangout, just for the social
> > aspect
> > > of being part of this community. It should not be formal, and the
> > > invitation should go out to everyone, perhaps someone want to make a
> > short
> > > presentation of what he/she is doing, to have some "structure", but
> that
> > > might not be needed either. Once we have a face to the words, and a
> > general
> > > idea how that person is socially, we are much more capable to interact
> by
> > > email.
> > >
> > >
> > > Cheers
> > > --
> > > Niclas Hedhman, Software Developer
> > > http://zest.apache.org - New Energy for Java
> >
>
>
>
> --
> Niclas Hedhman, Software Developer
> http://zest.apache.org - New Energy for Java
>

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